Here's What's Happening

I have been terribly delinquent about writing. Lots of my news has been not so good, so I often don’t feel like writing anything. So here is a summary of some of this year.

I came home from Mexico, mid-March. I felt so good about getting to spend almost three months there, for the first time in 3 years. I was relatively stable on a once-a-month drug called Genzar, so I did fly home once in Jan and again in Feb for treatment. I did stretch them out to 5-6 weeks apart. In March, my friend Wendy from CA flew down to Puerto Vallarta and drove home with me, or rather drove me home.  We were going to do a sidetrip to Queretero, but I got sick with a virus the day we left, so we just headed for the border and spent a few days together in Dallas before she flew home.

I did NOT want to come home.  There's something about Chacala that is sooo good for me. The house looks great with the new addition.  Three bedrooms, another bath, and rooftop view of the bay and sunset.  I had 23 guests over the 3 months. Build bedrooms and they will come.

             New second floor of Casa de Ana

I hadn't had treatment for 6 weeks when I got home, but had a good PET scan.  The bone lesion on my sternum has resolved, and the other areas in my chest, neck and shoulder only slightly "hotter." I started back to line dancing class and began walking hills every day.  I was looking forward to spending more time away since I was fairly stable. Hah!

May Developments

I say “hah” because in May I began having excruciating shoulder and neck nerve and muscle spasms, usually in the middle of the night and lasting for 4-5 hours, An MRI revealed a mass near my spine that was impinging on the nerve there. I was pretty miserable on one hand, and on the other I feel so blessed that in all these 11 years of this cancer thing I have not had to endure much physical pain.

We scheduled a surgery mid-June, interfering with my return to Mexico with Mark. We were to be there 3 weeks doing some work on the house, but I was only there 10 days.

I so loved being in Chacala when there were no tourists.  I really had time to visit with Mexican friends and work on my Spanish with them.  A friend there was diagnosed with breast cancer this spring, had a mastectomy and is in chemo, so I especially wanted to spend time with her. The water was warm and luscious and I swam a couple of times each day. And I got to see the arrival of the crabs—they come out of hibernation in June. There were millions of land crabs all over the village and smashed in the streets.  A few even came in my house.  They are big, about the size of a saucer.

Home and Surgery

The neck surgery went well—part of the mass was removed and the bone was carved away at C7-8 to make more room for the nerve, and the spasms stopped. But I was left with chronic nerve pain in my arm, two fingers that vary from numb to electric, and a sharp pain in my neck, all of which kept me on painkillers for several months, actually until just a few weeks ago (September),

I had to wait a few weeks after the surgery to begin a new chemo, so over the 4th of July, Emily, 10, and I flew to Utah for the Intergenerational ElderHostel trip that we had planned earlier in the spring.. It was pretty wonderful except for the nerve pain, my usual fatigue. I also began to have trouble swallowing, a new symptom. With help from some of the other grandparents, I was able to bow out and rest when I needed to. (I’ll write more about the Intergeneration Elder Hostel late. You Grandparents out there need to look into it.)

         Emily and Grandma getting ready to climb into a hot air balloon

When I got back to Little Rock that Monday and went in for chemo, I happened to mention that I was having trouble swallowing. Predictably, my doctor insisted on a CT scan, which showed the walls of my esophagus to be enlarged. We scheduled an endoscopy and dilation of the esophagus, so chemotherapy was postponed some more, which was frustrating for me. I was anxious to get on something that worked. During the endoscopy, the doctor saw a little gastritis, so put me on Prilosec. I have to cool it on the Advil. I hate the other pain pills, though.

New Chemo a Disaster

So, finally started a new chemo late in July. Ixempro, and it's been downhill ever since. I became really sick with low grade fever, chills, headache, stomach problems, and dizziness, I also began losing my hair, not completely, only a major thinning, which my already thin hair couldn’t really afford. I reread parts of Travels With Annie to remind myself how I felt in 1997 when I first began chemotherapy. I was sure I was in the end stage of the disease and not sure I was going to make it through the year. Somewhere around this time, I also had mass removed from my rib cage on the left side. Margins from both surgeries were positive, which means not clean.

I should add that these appointments and surgeries happen very quickly, as everyone knows Andy, and they all squeeze me in as soon as possible. The scans happen immediately. I just go downstairs from my oncologist’s office to Andy’s radiology group and they work me in quickly, as well. By the time I go back upstairs, the radiologist has talked to my doctor and we can procede to make a plan. I am very aware of and grateful for the special treatment I receive from the medical community in Little Rock. I feel so angry (and guilty) when a friend tells me that they had a scan and have to wait until their appointment the next week to get the results. “Normal” health care procedures are inhumane and disgraceful.

Sidetrip for Fun

Since the new chemo was scheduled to be once a month, and I had 3 weeks to recover from the bad chemo experience, I decided to “recover” by attending a long planned sorority reunion on Washington Island, WI. I was not feeling that great, but couldn’t pass this up. I hadn’t seen some of these women for 40 years or so, and I think this will be the last time I’ll see most of them. Earlier, I had planned on doing a road trip and visiting other friends in Wisconsin, but that wasn’t possible under the circustances. I instead flew to Chicago and rode up through Door County to Washington Island with a sister, Lucy, and her boyfriend. There were 12 of us there, out of a graduating class of 17, so, as you can imagine, we had a raucous time. One of the sisters, Melissa, and her husband have had a cabin on the Island for 30 some years. What a beautiful area that is! One day we took the ferry over to Rock Island State Park, and hiked up to the lighthouse there. (I brought up the rear, but I made it.) I wasn't 100% myself, but was with nurturing, loving, old friends, and that was energizing and healing.

I returned home from Wisconsin and went directly to my doctor's office for chemo. As it turned out, we just had a consult, agreeing that the chemo that made me so sick didn’t work (the tumor in my muscles are palpable, so I know immediately if something is working.). We began a new drug, Navelbean, and during the infusion I began to have an allergic reaction—chest and throat tightening mainly. They gave me some Benedryl, and I was sure I was going to be fine, but my doctor called 911 and I got to ride across the street in an ambulance and spend the rest of the day in the ER. I may never forgive my doctor for that.

So my recent life revolves around cancer stuff, with some fun squeezed in. It used to be the other way around. That is, my travel plans were priority and I fit chemo in when I could. That has worked fine since my recurrence in Sept 05, but now, finding a drug that works seems to be a priority. I feel really blessed that I was able to go to Chacala last year and to the reunion in WIS.

More about our next choice of chemo next time I write, which will be soon, I promise.

Sunrise at my home on Lake Hamilton, not a bad place to be if you can't be in Mexico.